didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
