My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
