Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
