now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
