Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
