She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
