wakey wakey hands off snakey
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I would ride that face into the sunset
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
