Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
well you can't waste a boner
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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