Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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