i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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