Just fell off a train. Bad.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
