2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
