I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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