You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
