It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
