whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
