He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
