my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
