IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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