The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
