I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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