you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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