i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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