Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.

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  (480): oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper. http://tfl.nu/sodt
  Replies (18) Good night (641) Bad night (1274)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  NEVER shave your cleavage hair.

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  (804): NEVER shave your cleavage hair. http://tfl.nu/pogh
  Replies (87) Good night (670) Bad night (9637)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?

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  (337): Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am? http://tfl.nu/uaqy
  Replies (11) Good night (4021) Bad night (999)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.

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  (847): He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours. http://tfl.nu/vgfj
  Replies (119) Good night (40684) Bad night (1956)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?

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  (405): Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin? http://tfl.nu/sa7c
  Replies (12) Good night (3075) Bad night (1187)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.

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  (720): Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it. http://tfl.nu/chvq
  Replies (7) Good night (6216) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  All she wanted was a cigarette

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  (919): She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop. (919): All she wanted was a cigarette http://tfl.nu/ei15
  Replies (1) Good night (1759) Bad night (690)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.

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  (254): He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy. http://tfl.nu/6702
  Replies (12) Good night (716) Bad night (2144)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?

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  (321): Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding? http://tfl.nu/i6fm
  Replies (15) Good night (1325) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."

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  (337): Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her." http://tfl.nu/whil
  Replies (10) Good night (1733) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  You sprinted into the side of a parked car

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  (705): You sprinted into the side of a parked car http://tfl.nu/8ptj
  Replies (0) Good night (927) Bad night (362)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy

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  (314): A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy http://tfl.nu/x180
  Replies (3) Good night (707) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.

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  (309): Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros. http://tfl.nu/cejf
  Replies (5) Good night (620) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present

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  (815): I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present http://tfl.nu/cw7h
  Replies (3) Good night (365) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.

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  (410): Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win. http://tfl.nu/2tho
  Replies (11) Good night (1262) Bad night (354)

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