Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.

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  (484): I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid. http://tfl.nu/8dyc
  Replies (23) Good night (4118) Bad night (802)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.

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  (712): I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house. http://tfl.nu/f9eu
  Replies (28) Good night (766) Bad night (3695)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.

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  (301): you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens. http://tfl.nu/fm3u
  Replies (10) Good night (1021) Bad night (3324)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?

  (914): View more from New York

  you mean faeutihaers?

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  (917): did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night? (914): you mean faeutihaers? http://tfl.nu/mcba
  Replies (34) Good night (10895) Bad night (1418)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup

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  (913): You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup http://tfl.nu/bt9z
  Replies (9) Good night (1410) Bad night (4503)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.

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  (443): Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had. http://tfl.nu/2xlf
  Replies (28) Good night (8290) Bad night (1475)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.

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  (847): Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised. http://tfl.nu/qe86
  Replies (7) Good night (2757) Bad night (1267)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  We just shotgunned beers for America

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  (614): We just shotgunned beers for America http://tfl.nu/dv8f
  Replies (31) Good night (4201) Bad night (1060)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.

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  (970): I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting. http://tfl.nu/e4bo
  Replies (11) Good night (982) Bad night (2568)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy

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  (601): i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy http://tfl.nu/7bad
  Replies (6) Good night (784) Bad night (2178)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear

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  (208): I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear http://tfl.nu/1f0a
  Replies (11) Good night (4584) Bad night (920)
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  (914): View more from New York

  All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.

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  (914): All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore. http://tfl.nu/ai56
  Replies (6) Good night (3147) Bad night (746)
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  (916): View more from California

  I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.

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  (916): I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today. http://tfl.nu/ycdx
  Replies (4) Good night (641) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?

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  (215): One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew? http://tfl.nu/l1va
  Replies (1) Good night (1125) Bad night (355)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends

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  (256): If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends http://tfl.nu/kp0i
  Replies (0) Good night (465) Bad night (218)

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