He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.