"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
they need to just BURY HIM!
home. puking in laundry basket.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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