can we get nightvision for the apartment?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i believe in u and ur pee
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'