I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
