You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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