It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
