I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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