Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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