my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
