I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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