My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
