I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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