That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You pole danced in your parka.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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