ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
