hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
