C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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