My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
