jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
