D3 body, D1 cock
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?