I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.