i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
