Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize