I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
