i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
