Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
