It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
