dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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