i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
