Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
