Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
