I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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