You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We had to coat check the pizza.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
