I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
