pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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