Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
