my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
