So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
