Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
