I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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