did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize