I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
