Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
