Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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